Dear Miami, I saw you again this weekend and like last time you were beautiful and warm.  I remembered how your water looked as I gazed and held my breath, but my hands felt more alone this time and my heart was aching in my chest.  It will take time to get over your beauty and warmth, yet it worsens everyday.  Time is a funny thing, I suppose it will take time for you to remember that spring.  Happiness is always near you, but I remain so far away.  When I see you and taste your sweetness again it seems so real in my dreams, and every night in my bed you take me away as I follow you with my heart and my eyes on your beach.  My mistakes do not affect me there, but when my dream ends the loss of you painfully reminds me of them.  My mistake was losing you, and if I could go back I would.  I would have jumped into your water without any thoughts, and swam out to all the deepest parts.  I know you would have kept me safe no matter how afraid of the water I am, yet I did not jump, and I did not swim, and now I only wish I could do it over again.  Time is a funny thing and if dreams take you away, maybe you will dream of me too and how we were on those sweet Miami days.

O_o  Been a while.  How is everyone?  Life is changing everyday for me, and for the better.  School is going well for the first time since 6th grade.  I finally have found something i enjoy, theatre.  People are strange when they finally come to a point when the chaos calms down.  I dream about a lot of things; espicially the the things and people I have lost.  However, I am trying to dream in the future.  I am sorry for the choices I have made, but I am happy to be where I am now.  I hope one day I can see you again.

<3 Lauren     

o boy christmas is coming... everyone will be getting a candy bar & a pair of socks! yayyy! getting an apartment has put a small dent in my budget, but the damage is worth the outcome :)

for now, everything ive learned about love has done me well.